You Are the Message Read online

  A CURRENCY BOOK

  PUBLISHED BY DOUBLEDAY

  a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc.

  1540 Broadway, New York, New York 10036

  CURRENCY and DOUBLEDAY

  are trademarks of Doubleday, a division of Bantam Doubleday

  Dell Publishing Group, Inc.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Ailes, Roger.

  You are the message

  Roger Ailes with Jon Kraushar.

  p. cm.

  Bibliography: p.

  1. Oral communication. I. Kraushar, Jon.

  II. Title.

  P95.A35 1989 89-32219

  302.2’24—dc20

  eISBN: 978-0-307-81610-8

  Copyright © 1988 by Roger Ailes

  Preface and User’s Guide © 1995 by Roger Ailes with Jon Kraushar

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

  v3.1

  CONTENTS

  Cover

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  PREFACE

  PREFACE TO THE FIRST EDITION

  1 THE FIRST SEVEN SECONDS FIRST IMPRESSIONS

  EASY MONEY

  COMMUNICATE OR DIE

  FACE VALUE

  MIRROR IMAGE

  LISTEN UP

  THE MASK

  CONVERSATIONALLY SPEAKING

  THE TEN MOST COMMON PROBLEMS

  BOYHOOD LESSONS

  FROM HANDKERCHIEFS TO HOLLYWOOD STARS

  2 TELEVISION CHANGED THE RULES QUICK-CUT COMMUNICATIONS

  SEE IT AND SAY IT

  WANTED: ALIVE, NOT DEAD

  3 YOU ARE THE MESSAGE THE REASSURANCE ISSUE

  DEFINING GOALS

  STOCKMAN’S OTHER BOOK

  ACCESS TO THE PRESIDENT

  LET REAGAN BE REAGAN

  THE PEPPER DRILL

  THE UNMENTIONABLE TOPIC

  ONE FOR THE GIPPER

  THE COMPOSITE YOU

  ARE YOU A WINNER?

  A PERSONAL INVENTORY

  THE UNFORGETTABLE BENNETT

  MAKING SENSE OF YOUR SENSES

  THE MORNING SHOW

  TEST YOUR SENSES

  OBSERVE OR DIE

  “DON’T CHANGE ME”

  REMEMBER BACK

  IT’S ALWAYS A DIALOGUE

  THE GUEST METER

  THE GOOD NEWS

  HOPELESS?

  HAPPY TO BE HERE?

  SPEECH-READING TIPS

  4 INSTINCTS AND RULES ORGANIC SPEECH

  VOCAL VARIETY: THE SPICE OF SPEECH

  WORDS AND MUSIC

  TAPE AND APE

  IF YOU CARE, THEY CARE

  ABSORB/PROJECT

  LAUNCHING

  THE EYES

  SAY WHAT THE AUDIENCE THINKS

  FEELINGS

  BETWEEN THE LINES

  BREAKING THROUGH

  THE NONSTOP TALKER

  YOUR LISTENING RATIO

  5 POOR RECEPTION A TALLY OF LOSSES

  TRY LISTENING

  BE SPECIFIC

  LISTENING TIPS

  THE WORDS GET IN THE WAY

  TALK LESS

  6 THE FOUR ESSENTIALS OF A GREAT COMMUNICATOR THE FIRST ESSENTIAL: BE PREPARED

  WHERE TO START

  SPEAK THE SPEECH

  NO COP-OUTS

  A PREPARATION CHECKLIST

  MAKE IT YOUR OWN

  THE SECOND ESSENTIAL: MAKE OTHERS COMFORTABLE

  WE’RE ONLY HUMAN

  GETTING COMFORTABLE

  THE LIGHT TOUCH

  OTHER POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES

  A HARD CASE

  THE THIRD ESSENTIAL: BE COMMITTED

  THE FOURTH ESSENTIAL: BE INTERESTING

  STYLE VERSUS SUBSTANCE

  THE FIVE-MINUTE MANAGER

  THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST

  THE 30 PERCENT SOLUTION

  7 THE MAGIC BULLET A TRICK SHOT

  OPTIMISTS AND PESSIMISTS

  AN ALL-TIME FAVORITE

  CHRISTMAS 1965

  IT’S NO JOKE

  THE SPOKESMAN

  LOSING THE LIKE VOTE

  I HATE HIS GUTS

  8 THE DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD A RANGE OF EMOTIONS

  THE PERSONAL TOUCH

  PRESSING TOO HARD

  QUALIFICATIONS VERSUS QUALITIES

  THE GLASS CEILING

  AN EVOLUTION

  THE HASSLE FACTOR

  REDIRECTION

  SOME ADVICE

  “BILINGUAL” COMMUNICATIONS

  MEASURE YOUR ATTITUDE

  9 BEYOND CHARISMA: CONTROL OF THE ATMOSPHERE HAVE YOU GOT IT?

  LBJ

  THE KENNEDY BROTHERS

  FROM HERE TO ETERNITY

  ROCKY’S PUNCH

  THE GAUNTLET

  YOUR CHARISMA QUOTIENT

  CONTROL OF THE ATMOSPHERE

  MISSION CONTROL

  RISK AND REWARD

  BAR NONE

  DEPTH CHARGES

  CLIMATE CONTROL

  UNSPOKEN GIVEAWAYS

  SPACE AND TIME

  PLAYING FOR TIME

  SOCIAL SECURITY

  PULLBACK GESTURES

  HAIL AND WELL MEANT

  TEST OF STRENGTH

  CONTROL-OF-THE-ATMOSPHERE QUOTIENT

  10 AN OUNCE OF ENERGY IS WORTH A POUND OF TECHNIQUE FOCUSED ENERGY

  A NATURAL STATE

  POSITIVE ENERGY

  JACK BENNY’S SECRET

  LIFE FORCE

  RX FOR ENERGY CRISES

  IN THE LION’S CAGE

  COMMITMENT

  11 LIGHTEN UP, YOU’RE WEARING EVERYBODY OUT THE BOTTOM LINE

  YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

  EGO QUESTIONS

  HEIR APPARENT

  DEAD UNCERTAIN

  PART OF YOUR JOB

  A SENSE OF HUMOR

  YOUR HUMOR QUOTIENT

  OUTSIDE THE DOTS

  THE SHOWMAN

  TO BE MORE HUMOROUS

  BEGIN WITH RESEARCH

  RELEVANCE

  RHYTHM

  REHEARSAL

  RELAXATION

  RISK

  12 OKAY, AILES, FIX ME: THE AILES METHOD/COURSE THE FIRST THIRTY SECONDS

  AN ALTERNATIVE APPROACH

  “IMAGE”

  CHECKLIST

  CANDOR

  MIRROR

  THE HUNDRED-YEAR VIEW

  THE TRANSFORMATION

  “I’M NOT AN ACTOR”

  DON’T BE AFRAID TO PERFORM

  JOB INTERVIEWING

  CHECKLIST

  DO

  DON’T

  ONE THAT GOT AWAY

  EYE DART

  CAN’T HEAR YOU

  A HOT DOG AT FIFTY-THREE

  WHAT’S GOING ON?

  FEAR

  13 EVEN HEROES GET SCARED ARE YOU READY?

  TEMPORARY PARALYSIS

  PERSPECTIVE

  SHORT-RANGE VERSUS LONG-RANGE

  THE BEST RIGHT NOW

  THE MIND

  THE WORST

  TWO KINDS OF ANXIETY

  ANTIDOTE TO FEAR

  THE PILL

  THE BIG RED ARROW

  HEY BARNEY!

  THE PERFECTION BLOCK

  OVERDRIVE

  VULNERABILITY

  HIZZONER

  ENERGY

  ROOTING FOR YOU

  IF YOU FUMBLE

  A GOOD TRIP

  14 “MAKING IT” IN GRANDMA’S EYES THE MIRACLE

  GUILTY TILL PROVEN INNOCENT

  GIRDING FOR BATTLE

  NO PLACE TO HIDE

  THE JOURNALIST’S JOB

  TWO VIEWS

  ONLY KIDDING

  ON OR OFF?

  SE
LLING OTHERS OUT

  NO LIES, NO APOLOGIES

  15 MEDIA TACTICS: SCORING ON DEFENSE WHO SETS THE AGENDA?

  PLAIN SPEAKING

  A SEARCH-AND-DESTROY MISSION

  GOLDEN RULES

  REPOSITIONING

  A RULE OF THUMB

  DRESS

  CROWD CONTROL

  A TV DUEL

  YOUR BILL OF RIGHTS

  EPILOGUE

  USER’S GUIDE

  NOTES

  ABOUT AILES COMMUNICATIONS

  About the Author

  For Norma, Mom, and Joe

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  This book is more than a recent venture. It’s the result of a lifetime of learning. I’d like to acknowledge many of the people who have contributed to that learning process and to this book.

  First, I’d like to thank J. McLain Stewart, Norma Ailes, Bill Mattasoni, Larry McCarthy, John Huddy, Kathy Ardleigh, and Kevin Hall for their time and ideas. I’d also like to thank corporate speechwriter Ron Nelson for his assistance, as well as Raymond Kraftson and Graeme Howard for their ongoing support and advice.

  My thanks to Debi Daly and Ileana Guinot for their help and dedication.

  A personal note of thanks to my mom for teaching me to set goals, and to my dad for teaching me to never quit—and to find the humor in life. Special thanks are also due to Joe Urban for his insight, research, and knowledge of communications and to Marje Ailes for her early encouragement and support.

  And, finally, my appreciation to my collaborator and colleague, Jon Kraushar, without whom this book would not have been written.

  ROGER AILES

  PREFACE

  The passage of a few years and the benefit of experience continue to prove that the principles of this book are timeless and that they work for everyone, regardless of gender, age, status, political affiliation, or nationality. Just after You Are the Message was first published, the book’s ideas were subjected to a public trial by fire when I served as the senior media adviser to Vice President Bush’s successful 1988 presidential campaign. In that campaign, I worked with George Bush on the skills you can read about here: how to effectively combine your substance and style to get what you want by being who you are, at your best.

  By 1991, I had retired from political consulting to concentrate on my work with corporate and entertainment clients. I thus removed myself from involvement in the 1992 presidential campaign. However, one of Bill Clinton’s top advisers admitted on television that he had read You Are the Message, and I understand the book had also been read by a number of Clinton’s strategists.

  Out of the glare of the headlines, I heard from many people who said that You Are the Message had made a difference in their lives. One woman called me from the airport in St. Louis, Missouri, and told me that the book had saved her career. She had been paralyzed with fear before a very important business presentation but had gained confidence and learned helpful techniques while reading the book during her flight.

  Thank-you letters came from recent graduates who had found employment using the interviewing tips in this book. Business leaders called to order, in bulk, copies of the book to inspire and instruct their sales forces.

  Members of the clergy wrote to say that their sermons had additional sparkle because of suggestions in You Are the Message. Several schools and colleges added the book to required reading lists. In fact, my niece, a college student in Toledo, Ohio, was told by a professor that she’d better read You Are the Message, and he asked if she had heard of the author. “Yes,” she said proudly, “he’s my uncle.”

  You Are the Message has been translated into foreign languages. However, I’ve been told that the English version was used to help Eastern European entrepreneurs and government officials communicate better in their new, free-market economies after the fall of Communism.

  As I’ve often said, my interest in communication began with a quest to understand how and why audiences react. It is my hope that as a result of reading You Are the Message, many people will increase their understanding of the “composite messages” of others—friends and foes alike. People whose messages need to be carefully analyzed include politicians, journalists, business leaders, customers, competitors, family members, teachers, public officials, and everyone else capable of changing our lives. When you think about it, that includes anyone.

  It is only through study and application that we can develop the capability and control needed to be intelligent speakers and—equally important—intelligent listeners. It is only through knowledge and discussion that we can sharpen our critical judgment, to distinguish between messengers who are harmful versus those who are beneficial. The message behind You Are the Message is: Take responsibility for the communication you send and the communication you receive. If there’s misunderstanding either way, assume the responsibility for correcting it. Be a proactive—not a reactive—communicator. This book teaches you how to do that.

  In 1993, I turned day-to-day management of my company, Ailes Communications, over to Jon Kraushar, my longtime colleague and collaborator on this book, because I was offered a challenge too big to pass up. I was asked to run the NBC-owned cable television company CNBC and to design and launch a new all-talk network, America’s Talking, which I did on July 4, 1994. I remain associated with Ailes Communications as its founder, and Jon continues to teach the Ailes Method, as it is explained in You Are the Message. But, in returning full-time to an early passion of mine—television production—I have new opportunities to observe and apply the lessons of this book.

  Today, more than ever, we see that television, mass media, and the blooming of the Information Age have changed the way we communicate. For better and worse, we live in an age of exposure where electronic media can record, monitor, and broadcast our thoughts and actions. Whether we like it or not, society’s views of people and ideas are shaped and influenced by the flickering images on television and other electronic screens worldwide, carrying video, text, and sound. It can be breathtaking, exhilarating, or frightening to watch the impact and speed of the changes wrought by those images dancing across the monitors. We have seen political systems crumble or emerge, countries collapse or form, and personal fortunes soar or crash in, literally, seconds—just as long as it took to communicate.

  As it says in this book, it takes only seven seconds for you to make an impression on other people. Ours is an era in which both information and interpretation keep getting more tightly compressed. That seven seconds is crucial in the making and breaking of impressions, relationships, sales, and decisions that affect the direction of our lives. Again, like it or not, a communication symbol of our age is the easily distracted, time-stressed television viewer using a remote control device to “channel surf” from program to program—from personality to personality—in mere seconds, in search of some gratifying mix of entertainment, inspiration, and information. That same restless, opportunistic viewer mentality confronts each of us as we present ourselves and our ideas to audiences small and large. You Are the Message is your guide for keeping others tuned in, to you.

  Throughout the years, I have been a television producer, a frequent news source, and a commentator on issues including politics, entertainment, culture, and effective communication. But in 1994, I took on a new role. I became the host of a program on America’s Talking, called “Straight Forward,” where I interview interesting personalities from all walks of life.

  I’ve thus come full circle in my career—from the coach to the presenter, from the man behind the camera to the man in front. Like all of us, I am subject to the rules and rewards described in this book. I occasionally stumble, and when I do, I review the principles of You Are the Message. I hope you enjoy this book and profit from it—by being who you really are, at your best.

  Roger Ailes

  March 1995

  PREFACE

  TO THE FIRST EDITION

  The world has changed. So has the way we communicate. Those who fail to ada
pt will be left behind. But for those who want to succeed, there is only one secret:

  YOU ARE THE MESSAGE.

  That is the subject of this book.

  This book is different from anything you may have heard or read about communications. The most exciting—and revolutionary—information in this book is that to be a good communicator you don’t have to do tedious drills or alter your basic personality. We’ll show you that you already have within you the tools to persuade and influence other people who are important to you, whether in your professional or personal life. Together we’ll examine what I call the composite you. That composite makes up the total message you send to others, and it includes: the words you use, your voice, the way you move, the signals you send with your facial expressions, and your attitude.

  Among the things we’ll cover:

  • How television has changed all the rules of communications and why it affects you more than you think

  • How other people see you

  • The four communications errors that your listeners won’t forgive

  • Breaking through fear and other performance blocks

  • A few simple rules to insure speaking success in every situation

  • Who some of the master communicators are—and how they do it

  • How you can get what you want by being who you are

  1

  THE FIRST SEVEN SECONDS

  It occurred to me as the last iron door clanged shut behind me: “Nobody’s ever going to break out of this place.” Ten minutes later, in prison, I was face-to-face with Charles Manson, the cult leader serving nine life sentences for his role in what some consider the most gruesome and bizarre murders in history—the killings of actress Sharon Tate and six others.

  It was 1981 and I was executive producer of NBC–TV’s “Tomorrow Coast to Coast,” starring Tom Snyder and Rona Barrett. Segment producer Shelley Ross had arranged for Tom to conduct the first network interview with Manson in thirteen years. Manson was housed in a maximum security prison for the criminally insane at Vacaville, California.

  I had read all the books and background about Manson but was unsure of exactly how the interview would go. I knew that we were dealing with a person who was, at best, completely crazy.

  The idea of the interview itself was controversial. Many people felt Manson should not be interviewed—should not be granted a public forum. Other people felt that since he was kept alive after California passed the “no death penalty” law, we might learn something by interviewing and studying this type of person. I had mixed emotions, but my job was to get the interview.